Couple Skills

Name: Couple Skills
Rating: 4.5 (1 reviews)
ISBN: 9781608824199

Making Your Relationship Work

By Matthew McKay,Patrick Fanning,Kim Paleg

Grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy, this practical guide walks couples through the full range of skills needed for a healthier relationship — from active listening and expressing feelings to negotiating needs and identifying cognitive distortions. Later chapters address anger management, entrenched couple systems such as pursuer-distancer and blamer-placater dynamics, and the role of past schemas in shaping how partners see each other. Each section includes concrete exercises couples can apply directly.

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Concepts

Clean Communication
A framework for expressing feelings and needs without blame, characterized by whole messages that include observations, thoughts, feelings, and wants.
Cognitive Distortions
Automatic, error-prone thinking patterns (mind reading, magnification, global labeling, assumed intent) that systematically distort how partners perceive each other.
Aversive Strategies
Destructive tactics used during conflict — including discounting, withdrawal, guilt-tripping, denigrating, and derailing — that damage the relationship rather than resolve issues.
Couple System
The recurring, self-reinforcing dynamic a couple falls into (pursuer-distancer, blamer-placater, overfunctioner-underfunctioner) that perpetuates dysfunction regardless of individual intent.
Parataxic Distortion
Unconsciously perceiving a partner through the lens of past relationships, especially parental figures, so that old expectations and feelings are projected onto the present partner.

Chapters

Introduction
Part 1. Basic Skills
Chapter 1. Listening
Chapter 2. Expressing Feelings and Scripting Needs
Chapter 3. Reciprocal Reinforcement
Part 2. Advanced Skills
Chapter 4. Clean Communication
Chapter 5. Indentifying and Changing Cognitive Distortions
Chapter 6. Negotiation
Chapter 7. Problem Solving
Part 3. Anger and Conflict
Chapter 8. Assessing and Changing Aversive Strategies
Chapter 9. Coping With Anger
Chapter 10. Coping With An Angry Partner
Chapter 11. Time-out
Part 4. Understanding and Changing What Goes Wrong
Chapter 12. Identifying Schemas About Your Partner
Chapter 13. Old Tapes - Separating Your Partner From Your Parents
Chapter 14. Coping WIth Your Defenses
Chapter 15. Identifying Your Couple System
Chapter 16. Intervening In Your System
Chapter 17. Expectactions and Rules
Chapter 18. Acceptance and Commitment For Couples

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Rating

Topics

Communication, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Communication Skills, Active Listening, Paraphrasing, Reciprocal Communication, Empathy, Expressing Feelings, Scripting Needs, Reciprocal Reinforcement, Victimization, Mind Reading, Clear Communication, Whole Messages, Cognitive Distortions, Automatic Thoughts, Tunnel Vision, Assumed Intent, Magnification, Global Labeling, Good-Bad Dichotomizing, Fractured Logic, Control Fallacies, Letting-It-Out Fallacy, Negotiation, Brainstorming, Aversive Strategies, Discounting, Withdrawal, Guilt-Tripping, Denigrating, Derailing, Criticism, Time-Out, Personal Constructs, Confirmatory Bias, Mental Grooving, Calibrated Communication, Parataxic Distortion, Defense Mechanisms, Homeostasis, Pursurr-Distancer, Blamer-Placater, Overfunctioner-Underfunctioner, Child-Parent, Alcoholic-Enabler, Sick Person-Caretaker, Pursue-Withdraw, Inner Child, Mindfulness, Defusion, Workability

Published

December 1, 2006

Publisher

New Harbinger Publications

Links

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