Concepts
- Attachment Styles
- The three core patterns (anxious, avoidant, secure) formed in childhood that shape how adults seek closeness, handle conflict, and respond to emotional stress in relationships.
- Anxious-Avoidant Dance
- The most common insecure pairing, where one partner pursues closeness while the other withdraws, creating a self-reinforcing cycle that both find painful.
- Relationship Traps
- Four predictable pairings (anxious-avoidant, avoidant-avoidant, anxious-anxious, secure-insecure) each with its own distinct dynamic and path forward.
- Emotional Regulation
- Skills for managing emotional reactivity so you can respond thoughtfully rather than react defensively in charged moments.
- Distorted Thinking
- Cognitive patterns tied to insecure attachment (catastrophizing, mind-reading, negative filtering) that can be identified and challenged to shift relationship behavior.
Chapters
- Introduction
- Part 1. Why Relationships Are So Hard
- Chapter 1. Understanding Your Attachment Style
- Chapter 2. How Our Patterns Are Formed
- Part 2. Identifying Your Relationship Patterns
- Chapter 3. Anxious Attachment Traits and Tendencies
- Chapter 4. Avoidant Attachment Traits and Tendencies
- Chapter 5. What It Looks Like to Be Secure
- Part 3. Solutions - Breaking the Pattern
- Chapter 6. It Starts With You
- Chapter 7. Emotional Regulation
- Chapter 8. Challenging Distorted Thinking
- Chapter 9. Healthy Communication
- Chapter 10. Living a Boundaried Life
- Part 4. Solutions - Confronting Relationship Traps
- Chapter 11. The Anxious Avoidant Dance
- Chapter 12. The Avoidant Avoidant Roadblock
- Chapter 13. The Anxious Anxious Fusion
- Chapter 14. The Secure Insecure Opportunity
- Conclusion. It's Worth It
Rating
Topics
Published
- February 8, 2024
Publisher
- Random House