Five-Minute Relationship Repair

Name: Five-Minute Relationship Repair
Rating: 5 (1 reviews)
ISBN: 9781932073713

Quickly Heal Upsets, Deepen Intimacy, and Use Differences to Strengthen Love

By Susan Campbell,John Grey

Grounded in neuroscience and attachment theory, Campbell and Grey show how unresolved upsets accumulate in the nervous system and intensify reactive patterns over time. The book presents a structured pause-calm-repair process for interrupting reactive cycles, identifying core fears and needs beneath surface conflict, and restoring connection quickly after a rupture. Scripts, exercises, and a regular clearing practice address avoidant and anxious relating styles, the role of vulnerability in intimacy, and how to build toward a mutually secure partnership.

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Concepts

Survival Alarm
The brain's threat-detection system (centered in the amygdala) that hijacks rational thought during conflict, triggering reactive fight, flight, or freeze responses.
Pause-Calm-Repair
A three-step process for interrupting reactive cycles, pausing the interaction, calming the nervous system, and then repairing the rupture with honesty and care.
Reactive Cycle
The self-reinforcing loop where one partner's triggered behavior activates the other's, escalating conflict beyond its original cause.
Core Fears and Needs
The deeper emotional vulnerabilities (fear of abandonment, rejection, inadequacy) and needs (safety, value, connection) that drive surface-level conflict when unacknowledged.
Coregulation
The physiological calming that happens when partners offer soothing touch or calm presence to each other, reducing activation and restoring the capacity for connection.

Chapters

Introduction
Chapter 1. The Alarm That Hijacks Your Love
Chapter 2. Install a Pause Button
Chapter 3. Calm Your Overactivated Nervous System
Chapter 4. The Power of Frequent Coregulation
Chapter 5. Your Brain Makes Up Stories That Trigger You
Chapter 6. Secure versus Insecure Relating - From Infancy to Adulthood
Chapter 7. Take Stock of How You Communicate
Chapter 8. What's Ringing Your Alarm?
Chapter 9. Agree to Stop Scaring Each Other
Chapter 10. Quickly Repair Any Relationship Rupture
Chapter 11. Clear the Air on a Regular Basis
Chapter 12. The Power of Vulnerability - Relating Instead of COntrolling
Chapter 13. Real Intimacy in the Bedroom
Chapter 14. Sense, Feel, and Deeply Heal
Chapter 15. Compassionate Self-Inquiry for Inner Healing
Chapter 16. Make a Plan for a Secure Partnership
Appendix A. The Five-Minute Repair Process
Appendix B. Reference Lists of Reactive Cycle Elements
Acknowledgements

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Rating

Topics

Repair, Communication, Conflict, Triggers, Fight-Flight-Freeze, Fight Response, Freeze Response, Neocortex, Higher Brain, Amygdala, Survival Alarm, Reactive Behaviors, Pause Button, Pause Agreement, Body Tension, Breathing Awareness, Co-Regulation, Hugging Practice, Supportive Touch, Storytellin Brain, Emotional Security, Secure Functioning, Insecure Functioning, Attachment Needs, Avoidant Attachment, Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Withdrawer, Anxious Pursuer, Control Patterns, Reactive Behaviors, Reactive Incident, Reactive Stories, Reactive Feelings, Reactive Cycle, Core Feelings, Core Fears, Core Needs, Pursue-Withdraw Trap, Pause-Calm-Repair, Safety Statement, Corrective Emotional Experiences, Relationship Rupture, Repair Process, Repair Statement, Responsive Listening, Reassuring Messages, Talker-Listener, Clearing Practice, Safe Space, Relating, Controlling, Vulnerability, Body Sensations, Healing Touch, Supportive Touch, Sense-Feel-Heal, Loving Ourselves, Self-Inquiry, Inner Healing, Compassionate Self-Inquiry, Triggering Incident, Secure Partnership, Nurture Yourself, Mutually Beneficial, Vision Statement

Published

January 25, 2015

Publisher

H J Kramer

Links

susancampbell.com/product/five-minute-relationship-repair

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