Quotes
Concepts
- Codependency
- trying to control another person's emotions and behaviours so we don't have to experience our own painful feelings.
- Interdependence
- both partners have enough inner security to not depend on only each other for connection and also to be at ease with growing intimacy. At the same time, they can lean into each other to provide support.
- Self-Full
- Baum's term for the state of having enough inner resources and self-connection that you can love another person fully without losing yourself in the process, the antidote to selfless codependency.
- Little Me Pact
- the unconscious emotional agreement formed in childhood where a child learns to suppress authentic feelings in order to maintain connection with caregivers, a pattern that gets replayed in adult romantic relationships.
- Pursue-Withdraw Trap
- the recurring anxious-avoidant cycle where one partner chases connection through protest behaviors while the other retreats, each response escalating the other's insecurity.
Chapters
- Introduction
- Part 1. How We Lose Ourselves
- Chapter 1. The Role of Relationships
- Chapter 2. The Secret Language of the Little Me Pact
- Chapter 3. The Anxious-Avoidant Dance and More
- Part 2. Becoming Self-Full
- Chapter 4. Listen to Your Heart
- Chapter 5. Healing Little Me from the Inside Out
- Chapter 6. From Selfless to Self-Full
- Part 3. Loving With Our Whole Self
- Chapter 7. The Beauty of Boundaries
- Chapter 8. A New Way to Love and Be Loved
- Chapter 9. The Mysterious Transformational Power of Love
- Acknowledgements
- Notes
- About The Author
Rating
Topics
- Attachment Theory, Secure Attachment, Insecure Attachment, Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, Interdependence, Autonomic Nervous System, Polyvagal Theory, Neuroception, Ventral State, Sympathetic Arousal, Fight-or-Flight Response, Co-Regulation, Felt Sense, Neuroplasticity, Mirror Neurons, Emotional Pact, Codependency, Pursue-Withdraw Trap, Activating Strategies, Deactivating Strategies, Protest Behavior, Elimination Behaviours, Earned Secure, Intermittent Reinforcement, Breadcrumbing, Love Addiction, Inner Attunement, Inner Protectors, Inner Nurturers, Interoception, Emotional Bypassing, Internal Empathy, Disconfirming Experiences, Self-full, Love Bombing, Coherence, Boundaries, Synchronicity
Published
- June 14, 2022
Publisher
- Penguin