Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship
By John Gottman,Julie Schwartz Gottman,Joan DeClaire

Based on real couples who came to the Gottman Institute for help, this book presents ten case studies of marriages struggling with affairs, emotional distance, lack of intimacy, communication breakdown, and unresolved conflict. John and Julie Gottman use each story to show how their research-based methods work in practice, with commentary that translates observations into actionable lessons. The case-study format makes the principles concrete and shows how couples with very different problems can apply the same underlying skills.

Buy on Amazon
Concepts
  • Case Study Method
    The book's format of presenting real couples from the Gottman Institute, then using their sessions to demonstrate how research-based principles apply in practice.
  • Emotional Bids
    Moments when a partner reaches out for connection, attention, or support; the pattern of turning toward or away from these bids determines the emotional bank account of a relationship.
  • Gridlock
    A state of recurring conflict in which neither partner can move because the disagreement is rooted in unfulfilled dreams or core values rather than a solvable problem.
  • Softened Start-Up
    Gottman's technique for raising a concern without criticism or contempt, beginning with "I feel" rather than "You always," to keep the conversation from escalating.
  • Repair Attempts
    Actions either partner takes during an argument to de-escalate tension; couples in healthy marriages recognize and accept these even when conflict is running hot.
Chapters
  • Introduction. From Predicting Divorce to Preventing It
  • Chapter 1. All You Ever Do Is Work
  • Chapter 2. Will We Ever Get Over Your Affair?
  • Chapter 3. After All the Crises in Our Lives, We Don't Feel Close Anymore
  • Chapter 4. You Never Talk to Me
  • Chapter 5. You Don't Care About My Dreams
  • Chapter 6. You're So Distant and Irritable All the Time
  • Chapter 7. I Shouldn't Have to Nag!
  • Chapter 8. There's No Passion, There's No Fun
  • Chapter 9. We Only Have Time for the Kids Now
  • Chapter 10. You're Not Satisfied Unless There's Some Drama
image
Rating
Topics
Published
  • June 26, 2007
Publisher
  • Harmony
Links
Related Books