Relationship Repair for Men

If you're focused on her wants and needs without first taking responsibility for your own, you'll run into trouble be believing that you meeting her needs will cause her to meet yours. If youre sacrifices her her are motiviated by wanting her to make sacrifices for you, it is manipulation, not a gift.

When men deny their own wants, their significant others struggle to feel their presence and their love. By assertively and honestly commnunicating their wants, men inspire trust and their expression of love can be felt more strongly.

Be patient and accept disagreement. Respond gently to conflict.

A man who comfortably acknowledges what he wants is often a man of healthy self-esteem. He knows his inner desires are worthy.

Your ability to be okay with a short-term rejection is a signal to her that you already feel good about yourself. You don't need her to say "yes" in order for you to feel good about your life. She doesn't have that power over you.

Respecting her boundaries will show her you respect her feelings and her dignity as a human being, and that you have a healthy and attractive level of independence.

When you can discuss your wants and feelings without criticizing her, you become freer to say what you need to say. You become more confident that your communication can help the two of you become closer.

Leading is clearly an assertive endeavor, but good leadership in a relationship requires you to be receptive to what your relationship needs.

Relationships become stronger when men seek to understand what the behavior means. Irrational behaviour can mean the relationship needs something it's not curently getting. The wiser man will do his best to figure out what that unmet need is.

Men need to learn to detach from their needs for their significant other's approval, and develop their own approval of themselves. Men who approve of themselves are far easier to love.

Be loving when telling her what you want. Be forgiving when you tell her how you feel when she mistreats you. Be affectionate when setting boundaries. Then celebrate when she accomdates your requests, even if the progress is slow and small. This will increase the chances she'll respond well to your efforts to repair your relationship.

If men clearly and firmly assert boundaries when issues arise, they demostrate self-respect while informing their significant others about what must and must not happen for the relationship to last.

Leadership requires us to do what's right, even when circumstances are not ideal.

Healthy and secure men honor their significant's others' autonomy. They don't tell them how to manage their physical and emotional health. They don't tell them what to do to be more attractive, healthy or enjoyable to be around. Instead, they communicate about how they want to be treated and what they want to experience. They leave it up to their significant others to dsecide what they'll do about it.

You cannot change her or make decisions for her. But... when you change yourself, your relationship usually changes with you. Your healing may inspire her to do some healing. Your improved boundaries can prompt her to improve hers. If she sees you take more responsility for your needs, she may follow your example. If you provide a model of confident communication free of comtempt, she'll probably appreciate it. She might even follow suit.

You cannot change someone else. But if you want to increase your chances of influencing positive change in her, the first and most important step is to detach from the need to do so. Your need for her to change will impair your ability to communicate well with her.

Your relationship will likely improve if you try to please her less and take more responsbility for what you need. Not only will you be happier because you're doing what you need to do, you'll also be opening doors for her to do the same for herself.

Relationships mature when we reclaim our individuality, and part of this is figuring out you can be true to your individual wants and values while also coexisting with another person. Focusing on your own wants, values, and boundaries is only one half of this. The other is allowing her to make her own decisions about how she'll live her life.