Reconnect

Insights and Tools for Cultivating Meaningful Connection in Your Marriage
By Steve Call

Steve Call examines the emotional layers beneath marital disconnection— unspoken hurt, hidden shame, the difficulty of needing someone, and the way past trauma shapes present conflict. The book covers the essentials of connection, how to stay emotionally present during disagreements, and the often-underestimated role of play and shared enjoyment in rebuilding closeness. Written as a short, accessible guide, it offers both perspective and practical tools for couples ready to reconnect.

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Concepts
  • Hurt Hides
    The dynamic in which one partner's visible anger, withdrawal, or criticism is actually concealing more vulnerable emotions like fear, shame, or grief — which the relationship cannot heal if they remain hidden.
  • The Battle of Shame
    How shame drives disconnection in marriage by making it feel too dangerous to be seen as inadequate, needy, or wrong, preventing the very vulnerability that intimacy requires.
  • Essentials of Connection
    Call's framework for what sustains emotional closeness in a marriage: mutual respect, consistent attunement, and the willingness to remain present when the other person brings difficulty.
  • Staying Connected in Conflict
    The practice of maintaining emotional engagement with a partner during disagreements rather than shutting down, escalating, or retreating — the skill that determines whether conflict damages or deepens the bond.
Chapters
  • Foreword
  • Acknowledgments
  • Chapter 1. Needing You Is Hard to Do
  • Chapter 2. Hurt Hides
  • Chapter 3. The Battle of Shame
  • Chapter 4. The Essentials of Connection
  • Chapter 5. Staying Connected in Conflict
  • Chapter 6. Triggers and Trauma
  • Chapter 7. Play Together to Stay Together
  • Chapter 8. A Compass for Your Journey
  • Notes
  • About the Author
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Published
  • January 9, 2019
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