A Marriage of Equals

Name: A Marriage of Equals
Rating: 4 (1 reviews)
ISBN: 9781631524981

How to Achieve Balance in a Committed Relationship

By Catherine E. Aponte

Aimed at couples seeking genuine equality in marriage, Catherine E. Aponte applies collaborative negotiation to five domains where imbalance most often appears: personal growth, sexual intimacy, fidelity, parenting, and work. She examines how unexamined gender roles, insecurities, and mental health challenges can quietly undermine partnership, and offers a structured framework for couples who want to make decisions together without sacrificing their individual identities.

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Quotes

When we are taking something personally, we are protecting our own self, our own ego. And when we do this, we're incapable of displaying the empathy and concern we must show in order to interact well, kindly, thoughtfully, and considerately with your spouse.

When you are in conflict with one another, you are making assumptions about each other that are hidden, and the feelings you have towards each other are negative and strong.

Taking something personally happens when you portray your partner's action only in terms of how you experience it. How you experience your spouse's action, while important, is not the only way to describe the action.

Concepts

Collaborative Negotiation
A structured approach to marital decision-making in which both partners bring self-awareness and personal accountability to reach agreements that honor each person's needs.
Taking Things Personally
The reactive pattern of interpreting a partner's behavior solely through the lens of one's own ego and insecurities, which blocks empathy and productive dialogue.
Unfinished Revolution
Aponte's term for the incomplete progress toward true equality in marriage, where gender roles and unexamined assumptions still quietly undermine partnership.
The Four Horsemen
Gottman's four destructive communication patterns—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—that Aponte uses as warning signs of an unequal or stalling marriage.

Chapters

Forward
Preface
Introduction
Part One. The Unfinished Revolution
1. A New Perspective
2. The Negootiation Process
Part 2. The Personal Revolution
3. Taking Care of Your Petsonal Issues
4. Where Do Insecurities Come From?
Part 3. The Revolution In The Bedroom
5. Enjoying Sex
6. The Unexamined Male Libido
7. Choosing Fidelity
Part 4. The Revolution At Work
8. Balancing Family and Work
9. Sharing Parenting
Part 5. How The Revolution Can Stall
10. Gender Types
11. When Your Spouse Is Mentally Ill
Conclusion
Appendix A. The Unfinished Revolution
Appendix B. Importrant Marital Issues to Negotiate
Appendix C. Taking Things Personally Workshet
Appendix D. Articles in Living with a Mentally Ill Spouse

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Rating

Published

May 28, 2019

Publisher

Simon and Schuster

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