The High-Conflict Couple

Name: The High-Conflict Couple
Rating: 5 (1 reviews)
ISBN: 9781608824267

A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation

By Alan Fruzzetti

Fruzzetti adapts dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for couples caught in highly reactive patterns of arguing, blaming, and emotional flooding. The book argues that effective communication skills alone cannot fix a relationship when destructive emotions are the core problem — emotional regulation must come first. Chapters cover mindfulness, distress tolerance, accurate emotional expression, validation, and recovering from invalidation, building toward the skills needed to manage problems through negotiation and transform ongoing conflict into genuine closeness.

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Concepts

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
A therapeutic approach that balances acceptance and change, adapted here for couples to reduce emotional reactivity and build relational skills.
Dialectical Thinking
The practice of holding two seemingly opposite truths at once (e.g., "I am doing my best" and "I need to do better"), reducing all-or-nothing thinking that fuels conflict.
Validation
Communicating to a partner that their feelings and reactions make sense and are understandable, which de-escalates conflict more reliably than logic or advice.
Emotional Reactivity
The rapid, intense emotional responses that hijack communication in high-conflict couples, making skill-building and regulation necessary before communication tools can help.
Mindfulness in Relationships
The practice of bringing non-judgmental, present-moment awareness to interactions with a partner, creating the space needed to respond rather than react.

Chapters

Foreword
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1. Understanding Emotion in Relationships
Chapter 2. Accepting Yourself and Your Partner
Chapter 3. How to Stop Making Things Worse
Chapter 4. Being "Together" When You Are Together
Chapter 5. Reactivating Your Relationship
Chapter 6. Accurate Expression
Chapter 7. Validating Responses - What to Validate and Why
Chapter 8. Validating Responses - How to Validate Your Partner
Chapter 9. Recovering from Invalidation
Chapter 10. Managing Problems and Negotiating Solutions
Chapter 11. Transforming Conflict into Closeness
References

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Rating

Topics

High Conflict, Conflict, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, DBT, Emotional Regulation, Validation, Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Reactivity, Acceptance, Communication, Intimacy, Conflict Resolution

Published

December 3, 2006

Publisher

New Harbinger Publications

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