His Needs, Her Needs for Parents

Keeping Romance Alive
By Willard F. Harley, Jr.

Parenting puts marriage under pressure in ways couples rarely anticipate, and Willard Harley applies his emotional needs framework directly to that challenge. Covering topics from shared domestic labor and aligned child-rearing rules to carving out undivided time as a couple, the book helps parents protect romantic connection without sacrificing their effectiveness as a team. Special chapters address blended families, children with ADHD, and the complications that arise when extended family intrudes on the marriage.

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Concepts
  • Love Bank (Parenting Context)
    Harley's model for how partners build or deplete emotional credit with each other; parenting stress and competing demands are primary withdrawal sources.
  • Undivided Attention
    Protected time between partners without distractions or child-focused discussion, which Harley identifies as essential for maintaining romantic connection after children arrive.
  • Declaration of Interdependence
    A framework for dividing household and parenting responsibilities in a way that each partner views as fair, preventing the resentment that erodes marital satisfaction.
  • United Parenting
    Presenting a consistent, agreed-upon front on discipline and household rules so that children cannot play parents against each other.
  • Love Bankruptcy
    The state a marriage reaches when emotional needs have been chronically unmet and the Love Bank balance has dropped to a point where affection and trust break down.
Chapters
  • Chapter 1. And Then There Were Three
  • Part 1. Romantic Relationships 101
  • Chapter 2. What's Love Got to Do with It?
  • Chapter 3. Just between You and Me
  • Chapter 4. Love Takes Time
  • Chapter 5. Love Bankruptcy
  • Chapter 6. Declaration of Interdependence
  • Part 2. A United Approach to Parenting
  • Chapter 7. Ready for Kids?
  • Chapter 8. Rules of the House
  • Chapter 9. The Time Factor
  • Chapter 10. His Work, Her Work
  • Chapter 11. Parenting Takes Time
  • Part 3. Special Cases
  • Chapter 12. Mixed Families, Blended Lives
  • Chapter 13. Disorder or Gift?
  • Chapter 14. When Grandma Won't Let Go
  • Chapter 15. Love Is Fragile, Handle with Care
  • Appendix A. The Most Important Emotional Needs
  • Appendix B. Time for Undivided Attention Work Sheet
  • Appendix C. Time for Undivided Attention Graph
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Published
  • May 1, 2010
Publisher
  • Revell
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