Help for High-Conflict Couples

Name: Help for High-Conflict Couples
Rating: 4 (1 reviews)
ISBN: 9781648481956

Using Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Science of Attachment to Build Lasting Connection

By Jennine Estes Powell,Jacqueline Wielick

Grounded in emotionally focused therapy (EFT) and attachment science, this guide is aimed at couples caught in persistent cycles of reactivity, blame, and withdrawal. The authors explain the underlying attachment needs driving conflict, cover de-escalation and nervous system regulation, and address how past trauma shapes current relational patterns. Dedicated chapters on resolving attachment injuries, navigating sexual dynamics, and building positive rituals help couples move from high-conflict cycles toward greater emotional safety and lasting connection.

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Concepts

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
A research-backed couples therapy model developed by Sue Johnson that targets the attachment bond underlying conflict, helping partners move from reactive cycles to emotional safety.
Negative Cycle
The repetitive pattern of escalation and withdrawal that high-conflict couples get trapped in, driven by underlying attachment fears rather than the surface content of arguments.
Primary vs. Secondary Emotions
The distinction between the raw, vulnerable feeling underneath a reaction (primary) and the more defensive emotion expressed outwardly (secondary), such as hurt beneath anger.
Attachment Injuries
Specific moments of abandonment or betrayal during times of distress that leave a lasting wound in the relationship and must be explicitly processed to restore trust.
Polyvagal Theory
The science of how the autonomic nervous system governs fight, flight, freeze, and social engagement responses, explaining why high-conflict partners become physiologically flooded during arguments.

Chapters

Foreword
Introduction
Chapter 1. What's Love Got To Do With It?
Chapter 2. Why Emotionally Focussed Therapy?
Chapter 3. Cooling Down
Chapter 4. Caught In the Cycle - Identifying The Pattern
Chapter 5. Trauma's Impact On Connection
Chapter 6. Resolving Past Hurts
Chapter 7. Let's Talk Aboiut Sex
Chapter 8. Celebrate, Connect, Advance
Afterword
References

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Rating

Topics

Emotionally Focused Therapy, EFT, Conflict, High Conflict, High Conflict Couple, Repair, Communication, Past Trauma, Insecure Attachment, Attachment Theory, Attachment Styles, Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Secure Attachment, Disorganized Attachment, Attachment Needs, Negative Cycle, Fight-Flight-Freeze, Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn, High Conflict Histories, PTSD, Emotional Responsiveness, Accessibility, Responsiveness, Engagement, Reactionary Patterns, Cooling Down, Primary Emotions, Secondary Emotions, Fear of Abandonment, Fear of Rejection, Fear of Conflict, Hyperarousel, Hypoarousal, Deep Breathing, Personal Baggage, Trauma Response, Tender Spots, Polyvagal Theory, Co-Regulation, Past Hurts, Unmet Needs, Vulnerability, Attachment Injuries, Need Fulfillment, Sexual Dynamic, Erotic Blueprints, Celebrate Positives, Relationship Rituals, Regular Checkins

Published

January 2, 2024

Publisher

New Harbinger Publications

Links

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