Fighting For Your Marriage

Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Building a Lasting Love
By Howard J. Markman,Scott M. Stanley,Galena K. Rhoades,Janice R. Levine

Based on the PREP (Prevention and Relationship Education Program) and over four decades of research, this fourth edition covers the full arc of what couples need to manage conflict, protect friendship, and build lasting satisfaction. Topics include communication filters, the Speaker-Listener technique, hidden issues, forgiveness, sexual intimacy, and the role of core beliefs and spirituality in sustaining a partnership. The authors address both the skills that prevent deterioration and the deeper attitudes that determine whether couples stay engaged over time.

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Concepts
  • PREP (Prevention and Relationship Education Program)
    The research-backed framework the book is built on, identifying communication and conflict skills that predict long-term relationship success.
  • Speaker-Listener Technique
    A structured conversation method where one person speaks while the other listens and reflects back, designed to slow escalation and improve mutual understanding.
  • Communication Filters
    Internal biases — past experiences, expectations, emotional states — that distort how we send and receive messages, often without realizing it.
  • Hidden Issues
    The deeper needs and sensitivities (around power, respect, commitment) that often drive recurring arguments even when the surface topic seems trivial.
  • Safe Harbor
    The deliberate protection of friendship, fun, and positive time together as a buffer against conflict and disconnection in long-term relationships.
Chapters
  • Introduction
  • Part 1. Understanding the Risks of the Road to Lasting Love
  • Chapter 1. Five Keys for a Great Relationship - PREP in a Nutshell
  • Chapter 2. Destructive Patterns - Signs of Danger Ahead
  • Chapter 3. Changing Roles, Changing Rules - Men and Women in Conflict
  • Part 2. Teaming Up to Handle Conflict
  • Chapter 4. When What You Hear Isn't What I Said - Understanding Filters in Communication
  • Chapter 5. Talking Safely Without Fighting - The Speaker Listener Technique
  • Chapter 6. Controlling the Home Fires - Handling Issues and Events Well
  • Chapter 7. New Perspectives on Problems and Problem Solving
  • Chapter 8. Keeping Conflict Under Control - Ground Rules for a Great Relationship
  • Part 3. Enjoying Each Other
  • Chapter 9. Safe Harbor - Preserving and Protesting Friendship
  • Chapter 10. Being There - Supporting One Another in Life
  • Chapter 11. Playing Together - How to Succeed in Fun Without Really Trying
  • Chapter 12. Sense and Sensuality - Enhancing and Protecting Your Sex Life
  • Chapter 13. Sacred Places - Core Beliefs and Spiritual Intimacy
  • Part 4. Staying the Course
  • Chapter 14. Why You Can't Always Get What You Want - Unraveling the Mysteries of Expectations
  • Chapter 15. Forgiveness - Restoriung Hope
  • Chapter 16. Sticking, Stuck, or Stopped - On the Path to Commitment
  • Chapter 17. Moving Forward
  • Getting More Help
  • Resources and Training
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Topics
Published
  • September 13, 2024
Publisher
  • John Wiley & Sons
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