Passionate Marriage

Name: Passionate Marriage
Rating: 4.5 (1 reviews)
ISBN: 9781921942389

Keeping love and intimacy alive in committed relationships

By David Schnarch

David Schnarch centers his approach to marriage on differentiation—the capacity to maintain a clear sense of self while remaining emotionally close to a partner—arguing that emotional fusion and dependence on outside validation are what extinguish desire, not the passage of time. The book examines sexual potential, intimacy, gridlock, and the pursue-withdraw cycle, and offers specific practices including hugging until relaxed and eyes-open sex for couples seeking depth rather than just comfort in their relationship.

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Concepts

Differentation. Is the process by which we become more uniquely ourselves by maintaining ourselves in relationship with those we love.
Differentation. Is the key to not holding grudges, recovering quickly from arguments, tolerating intense intimacy, maintaining your prirorites in the midst of daily life.
Differentation. Is the ability to stay in connection without being consumed by the other person.
Differentation. Involves the ability to maintain who you are while you're close to people important to you.
Differentation. Is the ability to maintain your sense of self when your partner is away or when you are not in a primary love relationship.
Individuality. Propels us to follow our own directives, to be our own, to create a unique identity.
Togetherness. Pushes us to follow the directives of others, to be part of the group.
Emotional Fusion. Is the opposite of differentation, alienates us from those we love.

Chapters

Section One. The Basics
Chapter 1. Nobody's Ready for Marriage - Marriage Makes You Ready for Marriage
Chapter 2. Differentiation - Developing a Self-in-Relation
Chapter 3. Your Sexual Potential - Electric Sex!
Chapter 4. Intimacy Is Not for the Faitn of Heart
Chapter 5. Sexual Desire - Who Wants to Want?
Second Two. Tools For Connection
Chapter 6. Hugging till Relaxed
Chapter 7. Love and Foreplay Aren't Blind, Unless You Insist on It
Chapter 8. Eyes-Open Orgasm - Making Contact During Sex
Chapter 9. Where's Your Head During Sex? Mental Dimensions of Sexual Experience
Chapter 10. Fucking, Doing, and Being Done - It Isn't What You Do, It's The Way You Do It
Section Three. Observations On The Process
Chapter 11. Two-Choice Dilemmas and Normal Marital Sadism
Chapter 12. Hold Onto Yourself - Your Crucible Survival Guide
Chapter 13. Couples in the Crucible - Reaching Critical Mass
Chapter 14. Sex, Love, and Death
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Topics

Differentiation, Marriage, Relationships, Sexual Crucible, Individuality, Togetherness, Fusion Fantasy, Reflected Sense Of Sense, Emotional Fusion, Autonomy, Interdependence, Electric Sex, Physical Stimulation, Emotional Stimulation, Sexual Potential, Emotional Connection, Self-Mastery, Sexual Transcendence, Emotional Gridlock, Other-Validated Intimacy, Self-Validated Intimacy, Solid Self, Self-Validation, Sexual Desire, Tools For Connection, Hugging til Relaxed, Differentiation Stance, Self-Soothing, Self-Confrontation, Holding On, Letting Go, Kissing Styles, Eyes-Open Foreplay, Eyes-Opern Orgasm, Eyes-Open Sex, Sexual Trance, Partner Engagement, Two-Choice Dilemma, Hold Onto Yourself, Soothing Yourself, Self-Soothing Strategies, Growth Cycle, Comfort Cycle, Distancer-Pursuer, Pursue-Withdraw Trap, Self-Transcendence, Self-Preservation, Self-Adaptation, Self-Dissolution

Published

June 1, 1999

Publisher

Scribe Publications

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