Happily Ever After ... and 39 Other Myths about Love

Breaking Through to the Relationship of Your Dreams
By Linda Bloom,Charlie Bloom

Linda and Charlie Bloom tackle forty widely held beliefs about love and relationships — from “all you need is love” and “people don’t change” to “commitment and freedom are mutually exclusive” — and examine the real costs of accepting them uncritically. Each short chapter replaces a familiar myth with a more realistic and workable perspective, drawing on the authors’ experience as relationship counselors. The cumulative effect is a practical recalibration of expectations that helps couples build something durable rather than waiting for an idealized version of love.

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Concepts
  • Relationship Myths
    Widely shared but inaccurate beliefs about love (e.g., "all you need is love," "people don't change," "commitment and freedom are mutually exclusive") that set couples up for frustration and disappointment.
  • Response-Ability
    The capacity to choose your response to any situation rather than reacting automatically, reframing conflict and difficulty as opportunities rather than threats.
  • Realistic Expectations
    Replacing idealized, movie-script notions of love with honest, workable expectations grounded in how real relationships actually function over time.
  • Conflict as Growth
    The reframing of disagreement not as a sign of incompatibility but as necessary friction that, when engaged well, deepens understanding and strengthens the relationship.
  • Interdependence
    A mature form of partnership that honors both connection and individual identity — contrasted with the myth that either total togetherness or total independence is the goal.
Chapters
  • Foreword by Susan Campbell
  • Introduction
  • Myth 1. And they lived happily every after
  • Myth 2. People expect too much from relationships
  • Myth 3. If we fight, it means we're not meant for each other
  • Myth 4. A happy childhood is a prerequisite to a great relationship
  • Myth 5. Marriages inevitably get flat, stale, and boring over time
  • Myth 6. Once a cheater, always a cheater
  • Myth 7. All you need is love
  • Myth 8. When you've lost that loving feeling, it's gone, gone, gone
  • Myth 9. All differences need to be reconciled
  • Myth 10. Time heals all wounds
  • Myth 11. You need to disclose all your past experiences in order to build trust
  • Myth 12. Commitment and freedom are mutually exclusive
  • Myth 13. Little things aren't worth getting upset about
  • Myth 14. Relationships shouldn't have to be this hard
  • Myth 15. All the good men/women are taken
  • Myth 16. Nothing good can come from conflict
  • Myth 17. True lovers feel love for each other all the time
  • Myth 18. If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask
  • Myth 19. Love will heal my past emotional pain
  • Myth 20. You can be right and have a good relationship
  • Myth 21. After I'm married, I won't ever be lonely again
  • Myth 22. Commitment means staying together no matter what
  • Myth 23. Telling the truth means getting it all off your chest
  • Myth 24. Love means never having to say you're sorry
  • Myth 25. There's just not enough time
  • Myth 26. When it comes to togetherness in relationships, more is always better
  • Myth 27. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all
  • Myth 28. It's too late to bring it up now
  • Myth 29. Love and good sex will make your relationship affair-proof
  • Myth 30. Marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition
  • Myth 31. People don't change
  • Myth 32. Independence is strength, dependence is weakness
  • Myth 33. Some people have all the luck
  • Myth 34. Relationships require a lot of sacrifice
  • Myth 35. Play is for kids
  • Myth 36. It's possible to divorce-proof your marriage
  • Myth 37. Once I attract my ideal mate, my life will be perfect
  • Myth 38. When it comes to relationships, security is always better
  • Myth 39. Married couples don't date
  • Myth 40. Good relationships require more effort than they're worth
  • Afterword
  • Acknowledgements
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Published
  • March 13, 2016
Publisher
  • New World Library
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