The Five Apology Languages

Mature adults learn how to break the harmful patterns of childhood and accept responsibility for their own failures, but immature adults are forever rationalizing their own bad behaviour.

Mature adults learn to accept responsibility for their behaviour, whereas immature adults continue with childish fantasis and tend blame others for their mistakes.

When apologizing, it is far better to state your intention to change. Then the person knows that you truly recognize that your behavior is wrong - and that you fully intend to change that behavior.

Mature people recognize their fears but refuse to be held captive by their fears. When they value a relationship, they are willing to go against their fears and take the steps necessary to hring healing to the relationship.

Verbally requesting forgiveness after you have expressed an apology using some of the other apology languages often is the key that opens door to the possibility of forgiveness and reconiliation.

All sincere apoligizes have the same two goals - that the offender be forgiven and the relationship is reconciled.

Forgiveness means we choose to lift the penalty, to pardon the offender. It means letting go of the offense and welcoming the offender back into your life. Foregiveness is not a feeling but a decision. It is the decision to continue growing in the relationship by removing the barrier.