Concepts
- R.A.I.N.
- R.ecognizing our feeling, A.llowing feeling to be there without judgement, I.nvestigating its source with curiosity, N.ot identifying with the feeling
- P.A.U.S.E.
- P.resence through deep active listening, A.cceptance many truths present at once, U.ndefended Connecton allows for vulnerability, S.peaking with skill and intention, E.motional intelligence
- The Five Love CyclesCarroll's model of five predictable stages every relationship moves through -
- the Merge (blissful fusion), Doubt and Denial (first cracks), Disillusionment (power struggle), the Decision (conscious choice to stay and grow), and Wholehearted Love (mature, skillful partnership).
- Imago Match
- The unconscious process by which we are drawn to partners whose positive and negative traits mirror unresolved wounds and unmet needs from our family of origin, making the relationship both a source of pain and an opportunity for healing.
- Lumpy-Carpet Syndrome
- Carroll's metaphor for unresolved relationship issues that get swept under the rug rather than addressed, creating ongoing friction and distance even when neither partner can name the exact source of the tension.
Chapters
- Preface
- Introduction
- Chapter 1. Where Am I - and Where Do I Want to Be?
- Chapter 2. The Love Cycles
- Chapter 3. Which Love Cycle Stage Are You In?
- Chapter 4. Now What? Navigating Your Stage
- Chapter 5. How Did I Get Here?
- Chapter 6. Stories From Your Past
- Chapter 7. Who Am I? The Enneagram
- Chapter 8. Discoveries and Disclosure
- Chapter 9. The Power of the Pause
- Chapter 10. Listening and the "And"
- Chapter 11. Managing Defensiveness and Speaking Smartly
- Chapter 12. The Five Top Habits of Emotional Intelligence
- Chapter 13. Establishing Connection Before Conflict
- Chapter 14. A Few Things Connection Before Conflict
- Chapter 15. Conflict - Everyday Squabbles, Big Troubls, and Intractable Differences
- Chapter 16. Wholehearted Love
- Acknowledgements
- Notes
- Resources
Rating
Topics
- Relationships, Relationship Skills, Differentiation, Relationship Skillfulness, Love Cycles, The Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, The Decision, Nature vs Nurture, Genogram, Family Stories, Family History, Sibling Interactions, Power of Attachment, Attachment Styles, Imago Match, Enneagram, The Idealist, The Giver, The Performer, The Romantic, The Observer, The Loyal Skeptic, The Epicure, The Protector, The Mediator, Personal Values, Self-Discovery, Self-Contemplation, The Pause, Pausing Together, Breath Matching, Melting-Hug Meditation, Three Magic Words, Pretend Listening, Selective Listening, Careful Listening, Deep Listening, Managing Defensiveness, Speaking Smartly, Defensive Style, Defensive Strategies, Mirroring, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Regulation, Regulating Emotions, Healthy Inner Dialogue, Managing Triggers, Inner Voices, Recognizing Feelings, RAIN, PAUSE, Daily Temperature Reading, Love Languages, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Sex Cycles, Enneagram, The Idealist, The Giver, The Performer, The Romantic, The Observer, The Loyal Skeptic, The Epicure, The Protector, The Mediator, Sexual Values, Sexual Intelligence, Sexual Libido, Sexual Accelerators, Sexual Brakes, Daily Squabbles, Intractable Differences, Stress Styles, Relationship Repair, Imago Dialogue, Lumpy-Carpet Syndrome, Moving On, Wholehearted Love
Published
- February 14, 2020
Publisher
- New World Library